Give this a listen:
For those of you who don't know, I am madly in love with positive vibes, finding happiness in the small things, and love itself. And for those of you who get to talk to me on a daily basis, and know my varying madnesses, know that I don't always exhibit these things but often circle back to them in some way.
Superforest is a positivity blog, and reminds me to be amazing everyday. Even more, when I think I'm not being amazing, it reminds me that amazing isn't something you be it's just something I am. Pretty cool huh? If you can spare about 2 minutes and 35 seconds I implore you to check out their humanifesto and maybe take a gander at one of their most recent entry's about Preston that I am in like with.
When I need a bunch of people from all over the world to give me something to grab onto when I lose my grip, this is where I go. Check it out! :)
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
LOVE!
My food and I were in a mutual state of love for each other last night,
Who are you going to make a point to express your love to today?
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Not really being that present
I got up at 4 a.m today, so I could study for the exam-related hell that awaits me at 8 a.m., so I could print off the study notes off of Blackboard, that I didn't print off last night...so I could go to bed at 8 p.m....so I could get up at 4 a.m.
And why do it at 4am instead of 8pm? Because I am disenchanted with my education right now. I'm ready to be done, to be outta here, to get on with 'it'. I fail to see how one more group project, one more paper, one more class that's eerily similar to the last 8 classes, is going to make me a better manager. It's about experience, but I don't think controlled experience is actually experience. I feel like I'm 3 years old again and screaming at my mom, "I CAN BLOODY WELL DO IT BY MYSELF" I feel like I could save the world but school isn't letting me.
I feel like writing 45% of my grade in one day is ridiculous, especially when I'm writing for profs who have admitted that I am not their priority. Yet, they're my priority. Yet, they're teaching me that whent there's a misalignment of priorities, there are issues.
I'd rather be planning my trip to India, because that's experience. Because that will make me a better me. I'd rather be changing into my running gear or grabbing my yoga mat. I'd rather spend the day watching TEDTalks and talking about it with friends. I'd rather be finding a way to get to the Leaders causing Leaders conference, because I think it would be a better use of my time instead of regurgitating redundant information on a peice of paper.
That's why I didn't print my notes off of blackboard last night. Because you can't study like that. I woke up this morning, decided that today was the best day ever. That I will write the best exams ever, because this is the best day ever.
And blackboard is down. I can't print my notes, and I somehow feel that this is a karmic fuck-you since I internally bashed a service I'm being provided with, that probably will help me in the future, so much last night.
However, it was decided 2 hours ago that this is the best day ever, and I am so awesome that I don't actually need to study for my exams. Ye-ah. That's right!
I am still a little pissy about it all though. The 3 year old needs a nap.
And why do it at 4am instead of 8pm? Because I am disenchanted with my education right now. I'm ready to be done, to be outta here, to get on with 'it'. I fail to see how one more group project, one more paper, one more class that's eerily similar to the last 8 classes, is going to make me a better manager. It's about experience, but I don't think controlled experience is actually experience. I feel like I'm 3 years old again and screaming at my mom, "I CAN BLOODY WELL DO IT BY MYSELF" I feel like I could save the world but school isn't letting me.
I feel like writing 45% of my grade in one day is ridiculous, especially when I'm writing for profs who have admitted that I am not their priority. Yet, they're my priority. Yet, they're teaching me that whent there's a misalignment of priorities, there are issues.
I'd rather be planning my trip to India, because that's experience. Because that will make me a better me. I'd rather be changing into my running gear or grabbing my yoga mat. I'd rather spend the day watching TEDTalks and talking about it with friends. I'd rather be finding a way to get to the Leaders causing Leaders conference, because I think it would be a better use of my time instead of regurgitating redundant information on a peice of paper.
That's why I didn't print my notes off of blackboard last night. Because you can't study like that. I woke up this morning, decided that today was the best day ever. That I will write the best exams ever, because this is the best day ever.
And blackboard is down. I can't print my notes, and I somehow feel that this is a karmic fuck-you since I internally bashed a service I'm being provided with, that probably will help me in the future, so much last night.
However, it was decided 2 hours ago that this is the best day ever, and I am so awesome that I don't actually need to study for my exams. Ye-ah. That's right!
I am still a little pissy about it all though. The 3 year old needs a nap.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
The Germans are coming!
Do you ever feel like things are piling up?
The laundry basket is full even though you just did it all? The ironing pile gets a little more wrinkled with each passing moment? The bananas are rotting? The studying for my 3 back-to-back exams won’t do itself? Work can’t wait? If it’s not the French Delegation, it’s the German Delegation? You can’t run fast enough? You can’t do yoga calmly enough? Your want-to-do list is longer tonight than it was this morning and you’ve been chucking at it all day? It’s already 4 p.m.?
What do I do with my time?
Merde!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Where you are right now, is where you are meant to be
Among so many other things, I champion being present in everyday life. I think all you can control is how you feel and how you show up for others, and that the best way to control this is by not dwelling on the past or trying to predict the future (both of which I do incessantly, but we can't all be perfect). I think you start doing this by simply being aware of your surroundings.
But the thing is, I've been falling down stairs a lot lately. At the leg. building this week I had to run something over to the speaker's office, and I was so nervous! I don't work in the legislature building (the fancy one), I work in the annex (the ugly green one), and I don't have to go over very often. It's such a confusing building! To get to this part of the second floor, you have to go downstairs, take the elevator with the bullet hole up 2 stories, and down this other staircase....that type of thing. What's more, is I make myself up as silly and stupid for working on the leg. grounds for 2 years and still not knowing where the Speaker's Office is. I mean, c'mon! But, anyway, I found it, and on my way back to my building, I tripped down the stairs, that I had walked up only 10 minutes before, right in front of the ledge in front of about 60 people. To add, I'm not a graceful person, so you can only imagine.
Then yesterday, I did the exact same thing at school over a set of stairs that I've come across only a thousand times before. It's so bloody annoying!
And even one more thing yesterday, where about 20 other people are as non-present as me at 8am... We all got off the bus and went to cross the street, but there was an ambulance coming. Granted, there's an emt building, a fire hall, and it's downtown so we're all a little desensitized to e-town's alarm clocks, but half of us had to run ahead to avoid being hit by the bus, and the other half of us had to slam on our own brakes. ALL FREAKIN' 20 of us weren't paying attention! It astounds me, seriously. When I'm crossing the street, why can't I be crossing the street, why am I already 100 feet away in my health class already?
I love life's little nudges in the right direction, and I'm giving props to myself for recognizing them. Right now, I am scanning notes for a friend and writing to no one in particular. The nap, dinner, and relaxation in my near future don't matter...I am being present.
But the thing is, I've been falling down stairs a lot lately. At the leg. building this week I had to run something over to the speaker's office, and I was so nervous! I don't work in the legislature building (the fancy one), I work in the annex (the ugly green one), and I don't have to go over very often. It's such a confusing building! To get to this part of the second floor, you have to go downstairs, take the elevator with the bullet hole up 2 stories, and down this other staircase....that type of thing. What's more, is I make myself up as silly and stupid for working on the leg. grounds for 2 years and still not knowing where the Speaker's Office is. I mean, c'mon! But, anyway, I found it, and on my way back to my building, I tripped down the stairs, that I had walked up only 10 minutes before, right in front of the ledge in front of about 60 people. To add, I'm not a graceful person, so you can only imagine.
Then yesterday, I did the exact same thing at school over a set of stairs that I've come across only a thousand times before. It's so bloody annoying!
And even one more thing yesterday, where about 20 other people are as non-present as me at 8am... We all got off the bus and went to cross the street, but there was an ambulance coming. Granted, there's an emt building, a fire hall, and it's downtown so we're all a little desensitized to e-town's alarm clocks, but half of us had to run ahead to avoid being hit by the bus, and the other half of us had to slam on our own brakes. ALL FREAKIN' 20 of us weren't paying attention! It astounds me, seriously. When I'm crossing the street, why can't I be crossing the street, why am I already 100 feet away in my health class already?
I love life's little nudges in the right direction, and I'm giving props to myself for recognizing them. Right now, I am scanning notes for a friend and writing to no one in particular. The nap, dinner, and relaxation in my near future don't matter...I am being present.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Things I'm Thankful for
So the thing is, I try to go through life with an attitude of gratitude. When things are pleasant, it's easy to forget to be grateful for the people and things that make it so. So, I try to be conscious of these things. I'm thankful for group photos, the people that are okay with my snap-happy tendencies, the people that will have team huddles with me over drinking games, that make fun of me for being a foot shorter than almost everything, heart-to-hearts outside 7-11, new people, turkey, bracelts with "pickled" on them, pumpkin pie beer and so many other things. And that was just last night. I'm thankful that I'm doing well in every aspect of my life, and I'm thankful for the people that have pushed and pulled me in every direction to get me here. I'm thankful for the random who gave me his cab last night, and I hope he was thankful for the $20 I slipped in his case of beer.
I've learned this past year to find the opportunities when things aren't so pleasant, and I've learned to thank the people involved in that. Without that first year of university, I never would have tired of going to the bar every night, switched out of education, found ambition and set that low bar for all of my friends (I know you like that!). When I didn't get all of those jobs I wanted, I got the job I have now and love every minute of. Without that 4 year relationship that ended last year, I never would have realized that I'm okay with being physically apart from someone for long periods of time, I never would have known how much I have to offer. And god forbid I didn't see the one or two asshats inbetween!
I have a few points to make here. It's hard to see the good when it's great, and it's hard to trust that the silver lining is the most important part when life seems to be shitting on you (it's not shitting on you, it's getting you ready for what's next). And I know I'm cheesy and 100% dork, but I honestly believe that. I've learned that I can take anything you can throw at me. And I can be grateful and present to it all, AND make room for it in my life. Guys, I totally got this down. I am so happy that each one of you are part of my life, whether you had an impact on me for 5 weeks, 5 months, or 5 years...I made room for you, and I'm so glad you reciprocated!
Also, I kinda love Thanksgiving.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
How are you changing civilization?
Every four years there will be another presidential election, another world cup, one more go at the olymics, a leap year, and you'll be 1,461 days older. In four years, you'll be four years wiser. Think of all the information that gets passed along to us every day. We're smart people. We're amazing people. In four years, we can make where we are living last a little longer
This isn't a problem for you to solve. It's a responsibility we all have, to get creative, to get inspired, to get a little down and dirty together. What will you do? Will you start recycling in your home? Will you inspire your community? Will you turn your garden into a food garden? What message are you sending, how are you showing up?
This isn't a problem for you to solve. It's a responsibility we all have, to get creative, to get inspired, to get a little down and dirty together. What will you do? Will you start recycling in your home? Will you inspire your community? Will you turn your garden into a food garden? What message are you sending, how are you showing up?
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