Let me Linger Here

I mentioned on twitter that I had something really awesome to share today. And I do! I've known about these t-shirts for awhile, but just got around to ordering one today. The concept is this: You spread joy. You wear a shirt with a stranger's face on it, upload your own face, and let someone else wear it. We're all one, and what better way to show it than by wearing eachother? I'm deeply in love with this idea. For myself, I will be wearing the vibrant Emilie Lebel in Electric Blue. She's 20 years old, from Moose Jaw and her passions in life are wine, cheese, intrigue in other cultures, music, happiness, film, photography. Ch-ch-check it out! And get your own!

I also wanted to share some of my own excitement from this week.






This is the wonderful carnage (and future gift wrap) I recieved from healthforce nutritionals. Half a day into the detox was enough for me, but I'm working out future, less intense ways to use my lovely product. I realized how much pressure I was putting on myself to detox, and what for? I will detox, in time, and maybe not with the level 3 intense 7 day detox I had imagined. It's not doing it THAT way that I want, I just want to DO IT.



And, of course, the lovely grey sludge that brought upon this insight.



On the very vibrant and bright side, I hauled all of this in from the grocery store. Yummmm! SO excited about this. I haven't had a stocked fridge in forever, I'm really excited about the time I get to spend in the kitchen right now. So good!


My lovely, supa yummy, strawberry-banana-mango-flaxseed smoothie this morning. I never use my blender. I make up that dragging it out, using it, washing it and putting it back will take up too much of my time for work. But this morning I slept in, made a smoothie, was early for work and clearly had time to take pictures.

Happy and ready for work - still very much alive and kicking after the interestingness that was Sunday!

Maybe I'm just a pansy but...

This detox is a lot harder than I anticipated, or the beef-n-oil-sand-lovin' ghost of Alberta is wrecking it's revenge on my recycling-newly-mostly-vegan ass. Calling healthforce tomorrow to find out if life is really supposed to be like this ;)

Either way, I'm not doing the Level 3 7day cleanse tomorrow. After I find out if today was "normal", and if it is, my 7 day is now a 30 day. Take that intense stomach pain! No one shall make me yell "MOTHERTRUCKER" at work (except for maybe the politicians, but even then I somehow keep it inside) ;)

And, in the interest of my safety, here's what happened today in the least graphic way I can possibly describe: Finished ALMOST half of Detox Day 1, by breakfast many trips to ye olde bathroom, later I just moved all my stuff INTO the bathroom since I was there so much, and then I had about 6 hours of violent puking, shaking, and freezing (my house is 32C and I was in sweats and a down blanket) my ass off. It has since then subsided, I stopped downing the pills and powders. Now I'm just dizzy, dehydrated and smell really bad.

SOooooo if anyone thinks that sounds normal/sounds allergic/sounds like something else, let me know. I'll love you more than I already do, if that's even possible. X.

Answer me this

Do boys have radar? I mean, seriously.

Where are your distractions when I'm chasing after some somebody for months and months? Why can't you occupy me then? But as soon as I'm not interested in anything with anyone it's like they come out of the freakin' woodwork.

Just an FYI, my multitasking abilities only extend to filing and talking on the phone. If y'all swarm the front desk all at once no one's going to get served. So, with this information in mind, please get behind the rope, form an orderly line, and I'll get to you when it's your turn.

I feel like I should be bragging about having "them lined up around the block" but humor aside, only this could wake me up at 1 in the morning.

I really want to read this book, Sex at Dawn, which talks about monogamy and how it doesn't "exist" but I don't think it's for me. I touched on a past relationship in the last post, and it only proves my point. Boy meets girl, girl falls in love with boy, boy sings girl cheesy songs, boy moves to a different continent. 4 years in an open relationship and I was mostly monogamous anyway. I don't have the brain power, or whatever it is, to think about more than one person at a time. If I like you, all of me likes you. When there's more than one person expressing interest in me it's deer-in-headlights-syndrome. Without any shadow of a doubt, I will stand there with a stupid expression on my face until something hits me.

I don't know how to juggle either.

So until further notice, one at a time please :)

Ode to Everyone

I'm trying to ask myself how I'm feeling right now, but that voice in the back of my head answers, and says, "I'm feeling excited! No, wait I'm going to puke. No! I'm excited!! Nooooo definitely going to puke." So I'll sum it up for you and say, I'm feeling AWESOME. And truly, I am.

My friend's Gams passed away about a month ago, but in her death I think she helped my friend realize that she's allowed to take time for herself, and that she impacted somebody in an amazing and loving way. I, having known her since she told me to rub green paint on my legs in preschool, knew this all along, but I am so happy that she's finally getting to realize this. And I am so happy that the impact she made on her grandmother, who loved her, wanted her to do great things, wanted her to be safe and happy, allowed for this. My friend is up to big things and I'm so glad that SHE IS DOING IT because no one deserves it more than her. As well, I wanted to share this from Gams' lips, to my friend's ears, and from hers to mine: "Change is as good as the rest."

It got me thinking. How did I get here? This puking-excitment makes me feel like my life is starting to change again and while I'd like some parts to, I'm really happy with my life as it is in this moment. Things are awesome right now, not gonna lie. But I still have that oooh dear in the back of my head, so I asked myself seriously....How did I get here?

Music has been a big part of my life, ever since I found the dulcet funk of the early chili peppers. They lead me to Jane's Addiction and Captain Beefheart. Who led me to Alice in Chains and Nirvana. Who led me to someone else and someone else after that. Eventually I made it to Hawksley Workman and Sam Roberts, who inspired me to plan a benefit concert when I was 15 for the maquila solidarity network. The bands that helped me out and played for free introduced me to new music as well. Somewhere along the lines someone suggested Jason Mraz to tingle my eardrum..who led me to Bushwalla, Tricia (who is a musician to my heart more so than my ears), Two Spot Gobi (who thankfully provided the soundtrack to the balcony in Corfu last May, and drowned out the shenanigans of my next door neighbour...you know who you are ;) ), and most recently led me to Tristan Prettyman. This last handful of people are leading me to a more conscious lifestyle, and they don't even know it. They are as much a part of my community as my friends and family, they are one of my many guides through life and I could thank them for hours. I'm also really excited to see where they're taking me next.

In short, I got here on my own, of my own accord, with the help from A LOT of people who are very different from each other. The people not mentioned, are the people who smile at me when I'm walking by, hold doors open for me, didn't smile for me or slammed those pesky doors in my face. I got here on my own, but everyone helped. So the next question is, how do I show up for other people? Am I conscious that the person not smiling at me as I walk down the street might be the person that NEEDS the smile?

On a side note, not really related but always connected, I want to gush about Tristan Prettyman for a little bit. I just found her today while at work and I've been digging through her music ever since (and you should really check her out!) and I came across her blog. I giggled at her last entry, I could have written parts of it myself. Not always, but most often I am an open book. I have no problem sitting down with strangers and telling them my life story. Once I start, I can't stop - and it is true - you never know what's going to happen! And, although slightly opposite, trying to break up with someone, them resisting, and then months later have them break up with you. That last bit happened only so many months ago, but reading that in her blog made me realize that I have a pair of fan-freaking-tastic feet that carry me wherever I want to go and I can, and am, moving on.

I mean, seriously, is this life?! HOLY FUCK IT'S AWESOME :)

(The people I mentioned above can be found here:

Jason Mraz
Bushwalla
Two Spot Gobi
Tricia
Tristan Prettyman)

Who are you remembering today?

Back in February I was talking to someone about skydiving and later that day I found myself purchasing a gift certificate for my cousin's birthday in march for her first solo dive at 3,500 feet. Naturally, I'd be going with her, and yesterday we finally jumped out of a perfectly good airplane just for shits and giggles. There's no one in the world I would have rather done that with than her, and I don't think I COULD have done it with anyone other than her. So today, I'm remembering her and our awesome experiences!

I'm also remembering the wonderful class instructor that made me practice my arches, my PFD and my emergency situations until I finally remembered that if I'm going to pull my reserve chute properly, I'm going to have to stick my thumb through the metal loop and pull. I'm remembering our jump master who kicked my feet off the wheel of the plane and told me to get the fuck out, I'm remembering our pilot, and our fabulous videographer who caught it all on tape!!


Perhaps most importantly, I'm remembering the lovely person who packed my parachute ever so expertly.

A little bit of crazy never hurt anyone

Everytime someone posts pictures from the trip I took in May, I get a little teary eyed. I met so many people and I'm so thankful for each and everyone of them. What even amazes me more, despite the fact that I roll my eyes at facebook frequently, I'm just a few clicks away from them all at any given moment. The world we live in! Kuleya, my amazing photographer/tour guide/battle dancer friend took that photo of me.

In a few hours I'll be jumping out of a plane and floating (hopefully) down to the ground. This week was really hectic, but I'm glad I was so busy. I never got the chance to feel anything except excitment for today, no nerves at all! When I make it back to the ground, I'll be booking it back home to make some birthday treats for one of my favortie people tonight. Baking really is a labour of love. You have to grocery shop - I do anyway, never enough on hand - you get to make a mess in the kitchen but you have to clean it up after. You never know what you'll get at the end. I just hope it tastes good!

What am I grateful for today? YOU! :)

Homage to standing still

How easy it is to repel and release every impression which is
troublesome and immediately to be tranquil.
- Marcus Aurelius

What are you pleasantly surprised by?

My friends are constantly surprising me this year. It's like I have my very own Standing Committee on all things Kairee, only with less paperwork and hallway fist fights. They've really been there for me this year through many mistakes, family matters and romantic follies.

I like going on dates that end with me walking out the door and the guy yelling to my back that I have to do the dishes before I leave because of my friends. I know that I at least get to have a good chuckle over a beer later. I like that when I'm over-analyzing and being overly critical of myself that my friends tell me to fuck off.

And I am surprised by this because I don't know if I could do this for others as they consistently do it for me. It surprises me, because I don't do it for myself. I LOVE MY FRIENDS :)

This week I have a pedicure, hair cut, date with an Irish boy, skydiving, friend's birthday, wings night, many meetings at work about "purging", good intentions to go to the gym, 12 loads of laundry and slightly less good intentions to clean the house.

And this is my most normal week since about March.

I surprise myself :)