Ode to Everyone

I'm trying to ask myself how I'm feeling right now, but that voice in the back of my head answers, and says, "I'm feeling excited! No, wait I'm going to puke. No! I'm excited!! Nooooo definitely going to puke." So I'll sum it up for you and say, I'm feeling AWESOME. And truly, I am.

My friend's Gams passed away about a month ago, but in her death I think she helped my friend realize that she's allowed to take time for herself, and that she impacted somebody in an amazing and loving way. I, having known her since she told me to rub green paint on my legs in preschool, knew this all along, but I am so happy that she's finally getting to realize this. And I am so happy that the impact she made on her grandmother, who loved her, wanted her to do great things, wanted her to be safe and happy, allowed for this. My friend is up to big things and I'm so glad that SHE IS DOING IT because no one deserves it more than her. As well, I wanted to share this from Gams' lips, to my friend's ears, and from hers to mine: "Change is as good as the rest."

It got me thinking. How did I get here? This puking-excitment makes me feel like my life is starting to change again and while I'd like some parts to, I'm really happy with my life as it is in this moment. Things are awesome right now, not gonna lie. But I still have that oooh dear in the back of my head, so I asked myself seriously....How did I get here?

Music has been a big part of my life, ever since I found the dulcet funk of the early chili peppers. They lead me to Jane's Addiction and Captain Beefheart. Who led me to Alice in Chains and Nirvana. Who led me to someone else and someone else after that. Eventually I made it to Hawksley Workman and Sam Roberts, who inspired me to plan a benefit concert when I was 15 for the maquila solidarity network. The bands that helped me out and played for free introduced me to new music as well. Somewhere along the lines someone suggested Jason Mraz to tingle my eardrum..who led me to Bushwalla, Tricia (who is a musician to my heart more so than my ears), Two Spot Gobi (who thankfully provided the soundtrack to the balcony in Corfu last May, and drowned out the shenanigans of my next door neighbour...you know who you are ;) ), and most recently led me to Tristan Prettyman. This last handful of people are leading me to a more conscious lifestyle, and they don't even know it. They are as much a part of my community as my friends and family, they are one of my many guides through life and I could thank them for hours. I'm also really excited to see where they're taking me next.

In short, I got here on my own, of my own accord, with the help from A LOT of people who are very different from each other. The people not mentioned, are the people who smile at me when I'm walking by, hold doors open for me, didn't smile for me or slammed those pesky doors in my face. I got here on my own, but everyone helped. So the next question is, how do I show up for other people? Am I conscious that the person not smiling at me as I walk down the street might be the person that NEEDS the smile?

On a side note, not really related but always connected, I want to gush about Tristan Prettyman for a little bit. I just found her today while at work and I've been digging through her music ever since (and you should really check her out!) and I came across her blog. I giggled at her last entry, I could have written parts of it myself. Not always, but most often I am an open book. I have no problem sitting down with strangers and telling them my life story. Once I start, I can't stop - and it is true - you never know what's going to happen! And, although slightly opposite, trying to break up with someone, them resisting, and then months later have them break up with you. That last bit happened only so many months ago, but reading that in her blog made me realize that I have a pair of fan-freaking-tastic feet that carry me wherever I want to go and I can, and am, moving on.

I mean, seriously, is this life?! HOLY FUCK IT'S AWESOME :)

(The people I mentioned above can be found here:

Jason Mraz
Bushwalla
Two Spot Gobi
Tricia
Tristan Prettyman)