Life is so funny. Or, at least I'm making it up as funny. I am a planner at heart. I daydream frequently about the people in my life, the places I'm going to go, and what I'm going to eat for dinner next wednesday. It's all pretend. Things get turned around!
Last week is a good example. I won't kiss someone who's been hitting on me for years because I truly feel committed to someone else, and even though there's mutual interest I chose to give someone else a chance, who later in the week doesn't give me that chance. I wait on the wrong side of the street for a bus, miss a class, and have to spend a few days back tracking, apologizing, and brown nosing because out of all the classes, that class shouldn't have been missed. A friend of a friend passes away because of low potassium in her sleep, and I eat an extra banana.
I didn't plan to be stuck with the short straw this week, or dig up old relationships to try and analyze more recent ones. I didn't plan on being so excited about my life. Without my 4 year, doomed to fail, way-too-long-distance relationship, never in my life would I have given the last 5 weeks a second thought. And maybe this time, I'll learn to ask about someone's previous relationships before I start envisioning one with them. And then, maybe I'll learn that I ask too many questions.
I love all of it. I love that I can give myself time to be angry, sad, and mope around the house, and when the time is up I can jump back in. Life sucks sometimes and you just have to enjoy the burn!
Also, of note, I'm so happy I have friends and family who will stand in the fire with me, again and again. I was talking about how ridiculous the last week has been, and we were sharing stories. At the end of it we decided that worse-case scenario, birds sing after storms (ohhh the cheese!). But fuck that! I sing during the storm!
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